A collection of Top 100 funny birthday quotes of all time

A collection of Top 100 funny birthday quotes of all time

 A collection of Top 100 funny birthday quotes of all time



What are the best funny birthday quotes? What is your favorite quote about birthdays? Here is a collection of best 100 funny birthday quotes, Dont' forgot share them if you like.

 

“A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.” — Unknown

 

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.” — Robert Frost

 

“A diplomatic husband said to his wife: How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?” 

 

“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.” — Erma Bombeck

 

“A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” — R. C. Ferguson,funny birthday quotes

 

“A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” — Muhammad Ali

 

“A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for.” — Anonymous

 

“Age is a relative term. All my relatives keep reminding me how old I am.” — Melanie White

 

“Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.” — Helen Hayes,funny birthday quotes

 

“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Jack Benny

 

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” — Kitty Collins,funny birthday quotes

 

“All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.” — George Harrison

 

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” — Agatha Christie

 

“Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I need an upgrade.” — Unknown

 

“As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.” — Norman Wisdom

 

“Birthday is a salty word if you're not a fan of cake and ice cream.” — Greg Evans,funny birthday quotes

 

“Birthday Soup is good to eat, but not as good as Birthday Cake.” — Else Holmelund Minarik

 

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” — Larry Lorenzoni

 

“Birthdays are like taxes. Both seem to happen too often and there’s no avoiding either. ” — Blake Flannery

 

“Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.” — Unknown,funny birthday quotes

 

“Do you know why old men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy Birthday.”

 

“Don't forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.”,funny birthday quotes

 

“For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.” — John Glenn

 

“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier…I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.” — Steven Wright

 

“Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget aoubt the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.”

 

“Gotta get it, even if it’s in the worse way. Got cake like everyday my birthday. ” — Lil Wayne

 

“Grow old along with me the best is yet to be.” — Robert Browning,funny birthday quotes

 

“Guess what I found out. Birthdays are awesome, research states that those people who have more birthdays tend to live longer! Aren’t you happy?”

 

“Halloween = Candy Thanksgiving = Food Christmas = Gifts New Year = Drinks Valentines = Sex Birthday = All Of The Above”

 

“Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a facebook reminder.”

 

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too.” —  Children’s birthday song

 

“Happy Birthday! May your facebook wall be filled with messages from people you never talk to.”

 

“Happy Birthday! You’re now living proof of the old saying that Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.” —  Kin Hubbard

 

“I can’t believe it’s already been a year since the last time I didn’t buy you anything for your birthday. ” — Unknown

 

“I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, because I don’t like taking credit for others’ work—in this case, my mom and dad. Or possibly my mom and the mailman. ” — Jarod Kintz


 
“I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this wold.”,funny birthday quotes

 

“I never forget my wife's birthday. It's usually the day after she reminds me about it.” — Anonymous

 

“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’” — Steven Wright

 

“I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.”

 

“I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.”

 

“I was gonna make you a rum cake but now it’s just a cake and I’m drunk.”,funny birthday quotes

 

“If everybody was treated like they matter — everyday; birthdays wouldn’t be so special.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

 

“It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.” — Ellen Glasgow

 

“Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday.’” — Steven Wright

 

“Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty” — Joan Rivers

 

“Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons.” —  Eli Cass

 

“Most of us can remember a time when a birthday – especially if it was one's own – brightened the world as if a second sun has risen.” — Robert Lynd

 

“My Birthday! What a different sound that word had in my youthful ear.” — Thomas Moore

 

“No wonder I'm unhappy… My twin forgot my birthday.” — Jerry Dennis,funny birthday quotes

 

“Oh, your another birthday has arrived? But it really seems only yesterday that you were a whole year younger! God bless you, Buddy!”

 

“Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” — Fred Astaire

 

“Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.” — Maurice Chevalier

 

“On every birthday, I ask my wife, ‘What would you like this year?’ and her instant reply is, ‘Diamonds! Diamonds! Diamonds!’ I’m always living in hope that one day she’ll say she just wants me! ” — Akshay Kumar

 

“On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones. ” — Jarod Kintz

 

“One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell anything.” — Oscar Wilde

 

“Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.” — Jean Ritcher,funny birthday quotes

 

“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen.” — Jim Gaffigan

 

“Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.” — Martin Buxbaum

 

“Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.” — Audrey Hepburn

 

“Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don’t really know. ” — Andy Borowitz

 

“The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.” —  Unknown

 

“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” —  H. Prochnow

 

“The best years of a woman's life — the 10 years between 39 and 40.” — Anonymous

 

“The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents. ” — Jarod Kintz

 

“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”

 

“The heyday of a woman's life is the shady side of fifty.” — Elizabeth Staton,funny birthday quotes

 

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate” — Oprah Winfrey

 

“The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything.” — Oscar Wilde

 

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball

 

“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” — Johnny Carson

 

“The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” — T. S. Eliot

 

“There is still no cure for the common birthday.” — John Glenn,funny birthday quotes

 

“There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important.” — Franklin Adams

 

“There was a star dance, and under that was I born.” — Shakespeare,funny birthday quotes

 

“They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.” — Unknown Author

 

“They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.” — Malcom Cowley

 

“Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.” — Robert Frost

 

“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.” — Groucho Marx ,funny birthday quotes

 

“To me, fair friend, you never can be old. For as you were when first your eye I eyed. Such seems your beauty still.” — Shakespeare

 

“We are only young once. That is all society can stand.” — Bob Bowen,funny birthday quotes

 

“Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.” — Lucy Larcom

 

“When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.”

 

“When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.” — Anonymous

 

“When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, the time I’m five I’ll be 64.”

 

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” — Mark Twain

 

“When I was little I thought, isn’t it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it’s July 4th.” — Gloria Stuart

 

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.” — Mark Twain,funny birthday quotes

 

“When someone asks if you’d like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? ” — Lisa Loeb

 

“When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.” — Blair Sabol

 

“Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?” —  BobKelton

 

“Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all itself.” — Tom Wilson

 

“Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.”,funny birthday quotes

 

“With every passing year, they become more experienced of life. It can really create a difference in your style while matching with their personality.”

 

“You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.” ,funny birthday quotes

 

“You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” — Bob Hope

 

“You think age is a funny thing? Wait till you Look at yourself in the mirror…Happy Birthday!”

 

“You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience. ” — Unknown,funny birthday quotes

 

“You’ve heard of the three ages of man – youth, age, and you are looking wonderful. ” — Francis Cardinal Spellman

 

“Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar Yung No Mo. ” — Unknown

 

“Youth is the best time to be rich, and the best time to be poor.” — Unknown

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